I'll be rich...

That time of the month can be pretty difficult for men. Our wives are a little bit more on edge, they cry, they yell, they even beat us. It’s just terrible!! I have a new service I am planning to offer the poor men in the world who suffer needlessly every 28 days.

It’s a delivery service that men could access from the safety of their office computer. They could choose any combination of the following items:

Please send my wife a custom package with the following items:
(please choose any two items)

• Roses
• Midol
• Tampax
• Ice-cream
• Prozac
• Cheese-its
• Chocolate
• Jewelry
  
• Cash
  

Please deliver my package to my wife:

• Next day
• For the love... before I get home from work
• Now!!! Now!!! Now!!!

Please deliver my package to my wife by:

• FedEx
• Shirtless Mormon Missionary Calendar Model
• Masseuse
• Therapist who can prescribe medication
• Armored Transport
• Airdrop

Please provide a reason the package is needed:

• Because I love my wife
• I want the “normal” woman I married back
• So I can come home
• So the beatings will stop
• I haven’t been fed in three days
• So my wife will love me again