Emperor Kyle

I need to be Emperor. Foolish people have often said I should run for some political office. I wouldn’t be happy having limited power. Unlimited power would be the only power I would be satisfied with. If I can’t be Emperor I will just have to settle with my average life.

If you think I would be a nice Emperor you would be wrong. I would be cruel and mean...

Things I would do as Emperor:

Christmas decorations or music may not be displayed or heard until after Thanksgiving. I was in a Hobby Lobby in July and they had 4 isles of Christmas crap! I went to the clerk and told them the following: “Listen, I’m going to go to Wal-Mart, buy a 5 gallon gas can. Then I’m going to the QT on Dysart and fill it up. Then I'm going to get a match from my 72 hour kit under the back seat in my truck. Then I’m going to come back and burn this whole store down if they still have the Christmas sh_t is still out.” They were not amused.

Oh, by the way, I’m just kidding... I may have thought about burning Hobby Lobby down but I didn’t really say I was going to do it or actually do it. Unfortunately, the isles of Christmas stuff remain.

Males may not wear pink shirts or ties. Here in the Land of Schwab we have TVs all over the place playing CNBS. I have a TV right above my desk so I’m stuck watching CNBS all day long. First of all, I want to humbly state that all the talking heads on CNBS are babbling idiots. I would rather watch Jerry Springer than anything on CNBS. This has nothing to do with my opinion about pink shirts and ties. However, when I see a babbling idiot on CNBS wearing a pink shirt or tie I want to pull the TV down on my head. It just pushes me over the edge.

Again... to my liberal friends who will use this blog as evidence against me, I’m just kidding! The nice people on CNBS, sorry CNBC, are idiots but I don’t plan on actually going over the edge when I see a pink tie.

Outlaw Pepsi. Pepsi just sucks. Nobody likes Pepsi. Like I’ve said in past blogs, Pepsi tastes like rust and Diet Pepsi tastes like used bath water.

I have several other things I’d like to do but my time is short. I will have to write about them at another time.